Is there organized religion after patriarchy? pt. 4

After Patriarchy: Feminist Transformations of the World Religions, edited by Paula M. Cooey, William R. Eakin, & Jay B. McDaniel

Conclusion

In closing, this book interested me for a number of reasons — primarily that of why intelligent and educated women stay in religions which effectively exploit them. I say “intelligent and educated” because I do not and cannot blame a woman for staying in whatever situation she finds herself, if she has never been able to learn that there is anything else available to her in the world. Unfortunately, too often the relationship between the god and women is structured like that of an abusive parent or husband to a helpless dependent: the dominant male partner/deity not only mistreats the woman, but has the appalling cruelty to insist she should also be grateful for the abuse!

I remember how revolted I was when I first realized God did not ask Mary if she wished to become pregnant before marriage — a shameful thing in that time and place. Instead, God had someone else simply announce to Mary that she was to be impregnated! Even the name of her future child was dictated to her. I am familiar with the old saying “quod licet Iovi, non licet bovi” — but I would also still violently throw across the room any book where the helpless victim of rape chooses/is forced to “forgive” her untouchably powerful rapist.

More directly, I believe these organized religions are taking shamelessly exploitative advantage of women because they depend overwhelmingly on their female parishioners to perform the routine support labor which keeps the church running smoothly. From the studies I have read, overwhelmingly it is women who — either through volunteer work or for pay — keep the church clean and in good repair, and sometimes the church’s landscaping as well; serve as cook and housekeeper for the clergy; clean, maintain, and arrange the various ceremonial tools before services; prepare and serve any food or drink which may be offered before and after services; arrange for, collect, and deliver donations for those in need… the list goes on ad infinitum.

Yet these same organized religions — which are effectively surviving on the backs and free labor of women — have all, up until very recently, uniformly forbidden women to preach from the altar, and considered women incapable of the strength required for effective leadership? Even those churches which now (often grudgingly) allow women priests still almost universally teach the damagingly secondary status of women! I fail to see any sort of inspirational message for women in being taught that they are — by deific decree, no less! -nothing more than toys for men, and the source of all the world’s ills.

I was in middle school when, with a sense of relief, I left the christian church behind. Consequently I find myself baffled by women who willingly stay and support an institution which routinely degrades them, teaching their inferiority and wickedness. I want to grab those women and urgently tell them, “Run away! These religious leaders are trying to convince you they have a right to hurt you — to stunt and stifle you and your kids! If you wouldn’t stay with a man who routinely beats you and your children, then why are you staying with this church?”

Unfortunately I don’t see that really working in the real world — and yet, as the editors of this book emphasize, “growth entails an openness to the possibility of shedding those things we hold most dear, a cutting into compost of the visions, images, and ideas of our traditions” (Introduction, p. xi). So then, why do these women choose to stay and fight within these symbolically — and sometimes actually — abusive religious situations? Do they not realize that “Religious reconstruction can be a form of denial, glossing over parts of patriarchal patterns that we need to face” (Culpepper, p. 152)?

As Bernice Reagon of Sweet Honey on the Rock often reminds her audiences: “real coalitions — bonding across and despite differences — are not easy. By definition, coalitions challenge us… priorities and cherished beliefs may be in conflict. If it is always comfortable… it is not coalition” (Culpepper, p. 159). I guess that’s part of it. Despite my confusion, I do want to try and understand what motivates these women — if nothing else so that I can be properly supportive when they need to rest from their endless, thankless job of trying to reform their church.

In another of my readings the author speculated that there were two types of spiritual feminists: those who found comfort in established community, and those who found comfort in creating community. That seems to fairly non-judgmentally sum up the differences for me, and so I will try to keep that in mind while trying to understand the widely variant perspectives from this book — though I cannot promise that my confusion at these women, and my disgust with the misogyny of organized religion, will not occasionally creep into my writing once more.

These differing sources of personal comfort — of long-established or newly-created community — can and unfortunately sometimes do divide women, though I wish to work to prevent that; Goddess knows women are divided and colonized enough already. This oppressed status within an androcentric world is one of the reasons I too strongly feel women (and empathic men) must reach out to each other in circles — across dividing lines of class, of race, of sexual preference, of religious beliefs, of anything which can keep us from recognizing our common humanity — in order to create meaningful lives and ceremonies for mutual support. As Culpepper beautifully notes, “There is so much grief and horror in this world that must be faced, lived with and through, that rituals cultivating the ability to savor and share bliss are a survival necessity” (p. 161). This is what I aim for in my dissertation and in my actions for myself and all others: let us once more recognize the validity and dignity of our mutual existence upon this beautiful, irreplaceable planet, and let us once again treat all its denizens — as well as the Earth herself — with care and respect.