Ridiculous conversations with housemates

I have tons of things I should be writing and reading and painting and training and cleaning and organizing and researching and blah blah blah… but I’m out of givashits right now. This also means it’s sometimes hard to come up with something clever and intelligent-sounding for here. The following will have to do instead — because these are just things that made me laugh, and when my brain is all out of brain juice due to scholastic work, having some brain candy that makes me happy is a good thing! :-)

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C, staring perplexedly at the floor, “Why is there glitter all over the mat here?”

B: “Because we live in a fabulous house!”

C pausing for a moment, then: “…can’t argue with that…”

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C, driving the car & continuing the on-going conversation: “Oh, I saw a great bumper sticker the other day! It was one of those silly ‘God Bless America’ stickers with an American flag on it, but it was old so all the red had faded off. All that was left was God, America, and the little blue square with stars in it. It was almost intriguing! Was it supposed to be ‘God Stars America’ or ‘God Square America’ or ‘God Blue America’ — or what?”

L raises an eyebrow: “‘God Blew America’? Shouldn’t we all be happier if that was the case?”

C: “Argh! Man, the second that came out of my mouth I knew I was in trouble!”

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B, idly studying a bottle of wood polish: “‘If swallowed, call physician immediately.’ Well, that’s not going to work — I’d have terrible cell reception!”

C: “What do you mean? We have great cell reception!”

B: “Well, think about it. First, before swallowing, it’d have to catch me and hold me down long enough to swallow-”

C: “Argh! I can’t believe I fell for that — and encouraged you!”